Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+43&version=NIV
And the phrase that stood out for me was this one.
You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?
3 Send me your light and your faithful care,
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
May your light and your faithful care lead me. A couple weeks back I had a sheep puppet in the children’s message tell me- my fluff and my maglight comfort you. That line spoke to me deeply and to hear it come back is part of the reason I’m writing on this tonight. It’s literally the same line but less silly.
Yesterday was the first time in three months I got a hug from someone who wasn’t my mom. It felt unlike any other hug I’ve had before. Single people in Oregon are feeling solitary confinement at this point. I suppose all of the west coast. We need to know that someone cares. After a week or so of rain- we want light. We want that holy mountain of something better.
I don’t know that I feel rejected. Not by God. I suppose I feel like I shouldn’t have rejected so many potential partners to end up alone now. I have had a couple folks reject me- and I suppose in my worst moments I reflect on that, but I don’t think about God rejecting me. Yet I’m talking with friends who after three months of covid no longer want to be with their partners too- so I don’t know which is worse.
Either way- there’s the longer for what could have been and certainly a longing for Jesus to come quickly. We’re done with this crap. I don’t know that I would have said that three months ago. My life was pretty good. Now I’m not certain. I’m open to a change but I wonder if normal will ever come here again. I wish I had taken advantage. Opened my heart a bit. I’d love to be a dad to give that care and receive that care. So don’t be like me. Open your heart. Take a chance go on the date- it’s not as big a deal as you thought it was.
But more importantly know that love and care from God is there for you. That longing you have for that perfect someone can only be filled by the perfect someone. As much as you miss a hug from a friend is how much God wants to hug you. I feel that’s the reason Jesus came to give a hug and we responded with nails to his hands. What crap. God too wants something better from us. He absolutely knows how we feel.
Look to his light. Know his care. Walk in his path. May his light and his care lead us.
Marking It Up 