Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+46&version=NIV

God is our refuge and strength
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

This was a verse I memorized in 5th grade I feel like at one point there was a song that went with it. The words are still true and perhaps more needed now. We’re awaiting going back to church and trying to figure out what the in between looks like and when will it happen. Oregon got a bit of a set back yesterday with the most cases yet. It’s just such a strange time and the word I’ve used is unsettled.

Trouble is here and it’s unknown. Fortunately refuge and strength is here and it’s known. His name is Jesus. Yes things seem to be falling left and right yet we have the opportunity to simply be still and know that He is God.

Stop the media. Stop your brain. Breath and know that He is God and He is with you.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+45&version=NIV

This is a hymn for what appears to be one of David’s weddings. Completely different from the 44 psalms before. It sounds like love what you might sing for your spouse but instead it’s a choir singing about a couple.

My heart is stirred by a noble theme
    as I recite my verses for the king;
    my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.

² You are the most excellent of men
    and your lips have been anointed with grace,
    since God has blessed you forever.

They’re extolling the virtue of the king. Some friends are easy to write or even sing about due to the nature of your relationship. God does bless people in different ways, often with friendship. You can’t really say how it happens, it just does. They must therefore be gifts from God. There’s also moments where writing doesn’t work. You get writers block and nothing makes sense, but then eventually it comes back. Sometimes like an avalanche coming down a mountain. Those are gifts of catharsis.

Not only is that true of writing, and in a sense human relationships- where most of the time it’s simply mundane than you move on to profound in moments. But it’s true of our relationship with God. You can go months or years with no breakthroughs. But then there’s the moment where God’s light shines through and you realize it was worth the wait.

Stick with it. Hold on through the mundane. The profound is coming.

Joy comes in the morning and it comes in the waiting!

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+44&version=NIV

We have heard it with our ears, O God;
    our ancestors have told us
what you did in their days,
    in days long ago.

My grandparents on my mother’s side were devout Christians. My great grandfather was the principal of the Lutheran school I went to – so Lutheranism is in my blood. They shared the faith with me and encouraged me to go to Lutheran Schools. I saw them share the faith with their friends, lead Bible studies, do work at the church, winning potlucks, doing the things church people do.

What did your grandparents and parents teach you about the faith for good and for bad? I never realized my own ancestors march in the faith until I had to do a religious genealogy of my own family. My dad was Episcopal until he met my mom and became Lutheran. I assume his dad was also raised Episcopal. Turns out no- my grandpa and his 8 or so siblings were raised Lutheran. My grandpa Jake married an Episcopal and became one. I guess I’m supposed to do the same. So far haven’t fell for that trap.

Regardless I’ve often wondered if my faith is stronger because I’ve stuck with the one of my family or if it would be stronger if I had come to faith later. I don’t know. But there’s something beautiful about following the faith of my ancestors. Even further back the faith of Abraham, Isaac, Moses, David, Peter, Paul, and Mary, you know all the folk.

Even if your ancestors didn’t have faith in Jesus- they still taught you something and instilled something in you. They had faith in something. It’s sad that the older you get after they’ve passed away the more you think about these things. Ask questions of your grandparents faith and about their work. Ask them about their parents. I didn’t know until after my grandmother died that she first learned to speak in German. I never heard her speak German and I took 4 years of it in high school. It was the dumbest move I made.

God put us in families for a reason. To learn from each other and to learn how to love them over time and often over conflict. Take time to get to know them and know that even if those relationships are ugly- they’re in some way a part of you. You can learn from someone either positively or negatively, but you only have so many close blood relatives in this life.

Love your God. Love your family.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+43&version=NIV

And the phrase that stood out for me was this one.

You are God my stronghold.
    Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?
³ Send me your light and your faithful care,
    let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
    to the place where you dwell.

May your light and your faithful care lead me. A couple weeks back I had a sheep puppet in the children’s message tell me- my fluff and my maglight comfort you. That line spoke to me deeply and to hear it come back is part of the reason I’m writing on this tonight. It’s literally the same line but less silly.

Yesterday was the first time in three months I got a hug from someone who wasn’t my mom. It felt unlike any other hug I’ve had before. Single people in Oregon are feeling solitary confinement at this point. I suppose all of the west coast. We need to know that someone cares. After a week or so of rain- we want light. We want that holy mountain of something better.

I don’t know that I feel rejected. Not by God. I suppose I feel like I shouldn’t have rejected so many potential partners to end up alone now. I have had a couple folks reject me- and I suppose in my worst moments I reflect on that, but I don’t think about God rejecting me. Yet I’m talking with friends who after three months of covid no longer want to be with their partners too- so I don’t know which is worse.

Either way- there’s the longer for what could have been and certainly a longing for Jesus to come quickly. We’re done with this crap. I don’t know that I would have said that three months ago. My life was pretty good. Now I’m not certain. I’m open to a change but I wonder if normal will ever come here again. I wish I had taken advantage. Opened my heart a bit. I’d love to be a dad to give that care and receive that care. So don’t be like me. Open your heart. Take a chance go on the date- it’s not as big a deal as you thought it was.

But more importantly know that love and care from God is there for you. That longing you have for that perfect someone can only be filled by the perfect someone. As much as you miss a hug from a friend is how much God wants to hug you. I feel that’s the reason Jesus came to give a hug and we responded with nails to his hands. What crap. God too wants something better from us. He absolutely knows how we feel.

Look to his light. Know his care. Walk in his path. May his light and his care lead us.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2042&version=NIV

First off I wouldn’t be a 90’s Christian kid if I didn’t allude to this song that I’m pretty sure I sang every day at high school chapel for 4 years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa6kplL3wjk

As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One^[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

What a truth for today the longing to be back in worship is not something I’ve felt much in my professional life as I’m always at worship twice on Sundays. Now I only get it once and it’s a virtual service I spent probably 24 hours putting online. Doesn’t quite feel right.

However there’s a deeper longing from me right now. I’m disconnected from physical touch and people in a sense. Sure I can do things virtually but it’s not the same. Then last week and even now thunder, lightning, protests, covid, racial disharmony, people asking to get rid of the police, it’s a lot for one to take. We want to say Come quickly Lord Jesus. I think we’re finally waking up to the world that we created for ourselves just isn’t that great. We wish it were something more something greater. There’s the idea that going back to normal would do it- yet I’m not certain that normal will come, nor that it should. Because we want something better than even what used to be. We had it far too good for too long and still do. We learned social isolation, racial and political unrest long ago. We want bigger walls instead of bigger tables. Headphones instead of speakers. Phones for selfies instead of TVs for parties. Self care and me time instead of group love and commitments to teams.

We need to get out of our iphones and our myspaces. Because we’ve stopped learning how to wait. We want all that we need now. Yet God says wait patiently for the Lord. We were made to be interdependent not independent. God gave man and woman jobs. He wants us to work with Him for each other. There’s value in work and in working towards loving God spouse and neighbor. There’s room for rest too- but not everything should be postmated to your door.

God come through. Bring unity in this country. Raise up leader of all colors to show us how to change for the better and how to unite. Most importantly may all that’s gone on this year bring us to our knees in prayer to you. You have made us humble. Now help us to learn from it.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+41&version=NIV

This slaps out of the gate- as the kids might say.

1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
    the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
² The Lord protects and preserves them—
    they are counted among the blessed in the land—
    he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
³ The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
    and restores them from their bed of illness.

Who are the weak this week? Is it the cops? Is it the president? Is it the black community that the average household income is supposedly 5 to 10 times less than the average white household? Is it those over 60 who don’t wear masks or social distance? Is it single people stuck in their homes alone for three months who are getting angry and snarky on the internet?

Maybe. Maybe all of that. Lord have mercy. We’re all weak and we all need help that only God can provide. The important thing is to look out for the other. If all we do is look out for self we have issues. I feel like it’s best to choose one issue to focus on otherwise we get overwhelmed thinking about all of it. But at the same time- know that everyone is fighting a battle that you may know nothing about.

I’m reminded of a youth from when I was first starting out in youth ministry. Some adult leaders after an event were discussing how she had an inappropriate swimsuit in the parking lot. This was overheard and she was balling and took this as a huge affront. I didn’t understand why this was such a big deal- granted I knew the leaders handled it poorly, but it was huge issue.

I learned a year later that the girl they were talking about had been raped the year before. Had they talked to her directly it would have been a different story. She was definitely the weak one.

So maybe sometimes we don’t know who the weak one is. We put the best construction on things, support those who we know need support and can help and try to change the system to make things better for all so there are no weak and strong, but loved, cared for and stronger.

Let’s pray that God through us makes it so.

Read this first:https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+40&version=NIV

And then of course we have to listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEV-Y3b_hvw while you read this- I’m listening to it while I’m writing. This is the only chapter in the Bible that makes me immediately think of a rock band.

Of course it begins with the cry to wait for the Lord. The theme we had yesterday. Waiting implies dependence on the change that is to come. At a certain point things are out of our hands and so we wait. In a sense that’s what quarantine’s about and in a sense that’s pentecost- we’re waiting patiently for the Lord. For Him come and clean up this mess we’ve created. The longer I live the more I realize it’s a mess and the more we need some Jesus to come quickly. As we wait- we do what the disciples did before pentecost. We pray. We also do what they did after- we share. We share what Jesus has done for us in the best ways we can which leads to the part that spoke to me the most today:

I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
    I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
    from the great assembly.

This week I’m angry. I’m angry at what my country has become and I fear will turn into. Maybe I have righteous anger. I do think I’m right and everyone is wrong too often. I need to think more about how God’s right and righteous and I am nothing compared to Him.

Do I hide His righteousness? Probably. Strangely I’ve probably been more open and public about my faith since I’ve been home. At least online. I hope that continues. Do I hide God’s work in my life? Do you?

How do we share God’s righteousness more when work demands another sermon, another newsletter, another birthday parade, another cancellation notice, another video to edit. How long must I do this job before I can do it with others? I don’t know. I want Jesus to come.

Read this first:https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+39&version=NIV

I said, “I will watch my ways
    and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
    while in the presence of the wicked.”

The last few days I’ve spent probably more time talking than listening. I’ve been on social media far too much. It hasn’t been a good few days there. But when you live alone and are trying to process what seems to be the closest you’ve been to civil war in your lifetime you act out in weird ways and scrolling twitter and responding to lies doesn’t seem as caustic to me as many things I could be doing, but that still doesn’t mean it’s healthy and it isn’t making my house any cleaner.

The psalmist is lamenting the wrong they have done and are afraid of what God may have to say or do to them.

In regards to racial relations I know I have benefitted from being a white man from things that have nothing to do with me just a situation I was born into- which have led me to have gone to private schools my entire life, to not have debt, to own my home which has 4 bedrooms- 2 of which I don’t use. I am white privilege in every sense of the word. I try to use what I’ve been given to help others. But I know it’s not enough. I could do more. Much more. And yet I don’t take the time to figure out how best to help the situation. Phil Vischer the veggietales guy and voice of Bob the tomato has quite the tale about how mortgages in the 1930’s allowed him to have the life he has now and how those same opportunities wouldn’t have been there if his family was black-https://www.holypost.com/post/how-racial-injustice-has-benefited-me He explains it much better than I could.

I’ve never been made fun of for my race or my gender. I have been made fun of because I look like everyone else in Portland one of the whitest towns in America and I find that funny. But no there’s things I can’t relate to that many others have to deal with I’ve rarely had to deal with cops. I’ve never had a hard time finding hair care products. I’ve never had to speak on behalf of my race. I’ve never been questioned if I got my job because of my race- though it very well could have been a factor as my church body is the second whitest in America.

So tomorrow well I will post here but I will do my best to stay off the socials for a day if I do- I won’t type but I will listen.

I encourage you to listen on these issues before you speak and listen to people of color but also listen to God in prayer as we ask how might we make the cycle end. How can we be better? How can we bring our nation to a place of peace and not fighting. Amen.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+38&version=NIV

Waiting. We’ve been doing it for awhile and to wake up today to hear that not only is Minneapolis burning so was downtown Portland and now we have a city curfew while our mayor’s mother dies really made me feel alone. More alone than I have in the last two and a half months I’ve been extreme quarantining. In that context comes this verse:

Lord, I wait for you;
    you will answer, Lord my God.

I don’t want to wait anymore. I want the fighting to end. I want quarantine to end. I want to go back to the way things were but maybe that won’t come for 2 years. What does that mean for me? No dates? No companionship? No chance of a marriage nor a kid until I’m 43? I think I’d be a great dad and I try not to talk about this but there’s very little I desire more right now and I don’t know how that will happen.

I spent too much time on twitter and social media today which is awful. I did have a bit of a dialogue with Phil Vischer that kept me going and eventually got outside for a run, but today I felt the despair that David feels in this. I don’t know that I feel like I’m fighting against God like he does. But I do feel like I’m fighting against the world. So I grasp for straws. Tomorrow I will talk about race with the kids in hopes that in the future they will be more informed and maybe the world a little less hateful.

And I guess rather that tweeting I should pray. Because some things can’t be rationalized nor should be solved by us. They should be solved by listening, waiting, and hoping, as God is the one who will answer. Just wait.

Read this first: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+37&version=NIV

Probably the Psalm most taken out of context- Oprah’s favorite passage, and I’m sorry to say it’s on Damian Lillards bicep as well-

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Not a fan of what people take this to mean. Prosperity gospel folks use it to say, “God’s getting me a boat.” I had a friend say, ” Jesus won’t come back because I haven’t had a kid yet. He will give me the desires of my heart and I desire a kid- so after I birth a child he can come back.” Did you know that the desires of your heart determine when Jesus comes back? I sure hope not! Everyone’s got a desire. No the point of the passage is if you delight in the Lord the desires of your heart will be more like His. To love and forgive others. This guy goes into it better than I do: https://thred.org/video/pops-busy-not-hurried/

I like this passage just following better:

Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
    when they carry out their wicked schemes.

“Do not fret” comes up many times in the passage. Not do not be afraid- do not fret. Fretting comes from hurrying and overthinking. It’s not quite fear. It’s anxiety and fear over nothingness. Something I do all the time. Fret is not of God. Rest in Him. Take Sabbath and peace from fret is available. Be still do

Then there’s little nugget as well: “a future awaits those who seek peace.”

That’s our job. Seek peace.

Seek peace and justice for Minneapolis today. Pray that the wrongs there would be made right and that George Floyd’s death brings about peace and justice soon. That’s a good desire of your heart.